After listening to the sex compatibility talk from the Vicar, he was asked to contribute. He turned to look at me and said he was ashamed and disappointed that his wife had fabricated lies against him. There was absolutely nothing wrong with our sex life. That was the first time I discussed sex in my marriage with anybody. We sat in the car in silence as the driver drove us home. I spent the next few days on my knees begging and begging to be forgiven. I prayed and fasted over this new sex hunger in me. It certainly must be evil. The second time, I discussed the sex in my marriage was with an old friend of mine who told me that it was perfectly normal to be like that now and then. I couldn’t reveal my Husbands secret because I didn’t want it all over the town that he wasn’t ‘strong enough’ or that he was like noodles, done in 3 minutes.

She suggested that I get more involved in sports. She said, running a business that entailed sitting down most of the day was not healthy and could be responsible for the sex thing. I took her advice and started swimming at the club, regularly. I did feel better and I was beginning to feel like my old self again. The Coach was a young man with a chiseled body. He was everyone’s favorite, he was polite and seemed to like teaching people how to swim. On one occasion he observed me, swim. Then told me that the effort I put into swimming should be less. He said I should develop a relationship, with the water and show it calm love and let go of my thoughts. He swam a little to show me. I nodded and thanked him. From nowhere I felt a hand on my ankle, someone was pulling me further into the water, it gripped me, I shouted and almost forgot that I could swim.

The Coach came to my rescue immediately. He dived deep into the pool, to put a stop to whoever was pulling my ankle. The culprit was a friend’s Son. He bobbed out of the water laughing. “Aunty, I scared you” The Coach was so upset. You could tell that he wished he could smack the silly boy, instead, he said “you know that’s not allowed in the pool. Please don’t repeat that.

A good beating would have been in order. The Coach came up close and said “Sorry Ma, these kids can be very mischievous”. I’m not sure whether it was the angle at which the sun hit the water or maybe some increased temperatures in the pool – because they sometimes made the water warm, If the weather was a little chilly, but it was never in the hot afternoon. I felt very hot down there and a ticking I can’t explain, would not stop. I got out of the water had a cold shower, and left. That was the end of swimming for a while.

How, does a good Christian wife tell her husband that sort of thing without being accused of being a slag?? When that time came again, my husband was beside me on the bed. I desperately needed to be touched way down there. He was still a little upset with me and was feigning sleep, so that we wouldn’t have to talk much. I took his fingers and guided them right to the most desperately needed spot and then he suddenly sat up screaming “What is going on with you these days?” My voice had become husky. I just managed to say “I want you”. He looked at  me and said, “if you want me, it will not be like that”. We’ve been married for so long, and I have never seen this side of you”. We have never done that, why do you suddenly want “that” done to you? “Have you been watching porn or are you having an affair with a younger man?”

The longings died. He put one pillow on top of the other, propped it, put his head on the pillow, and within minutes he slept off snoring slightly. Little drops of salty tears rolled down my face. I went to my iPad to amuse myself on the internet; I suddenly typed in “cure for twitching clitoris” The search results were very entertaining. I found out that I was not odd. It was normal for the libido to go a notch or two up in my age group. I stumbled on a Kamasutra site, I saw pictures that would make you blush!

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