I’ve been wanking since I was in Junior School. Whenever I’m alone in my room, my mind keeps focusing on doing it. I can’t fight it. I have been for deliverance in my church many times and I’m too ashamed to go again. I think it got worse in the church because after seeing all those ladies moving their bum bums up and down it used to make me hard. Once I get home again I do it.

I’ve tried having sex a lot, with girlfriends but it’s not the same pleasure I get. I kept having problems with them because even when they undress, I’m not hard. They get angry with me that I don’t find them sexy.

Now I’m married I thought the problem would stop. It is worse than before. When I finish making love to my wife, I wait till she sleeps then I go and do it in the toilet.
Is it bad, if I do it after making love? How can I stop?

Dave, Enugu.

you are facing a very common problem with men. The body, hormones, and all have a way of wanting to control our sexual orientation. Nature designed your manhood the shape it did so that you’d get the pleasure from a female and not from your hands. You’ve done it for so long that your system is used to it. It’s an addiction you should try to break.

I suggest you tell your wife about it. I hope she will be supportive, an extra pair of eyes will help to wean you off it gradually. Number 2, see your Doctor who may suggest some professional help. Number 3 If towards evening you are idle, get involved in physical activity like sports to wear your body out, make love to your wife, and sleep. Try as much as possible to keep your mind busy!
All the best!

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