One of the fundamental problems I think we have in relationships is how we ignore the order of PROCESS.
You meet a man for the first time and you’ve brought out your husband scanner – forgetting that it takes a process of Man>Friend>Boyfriend before you get to husband. I’ve seen people who are good men but terrible boyfriends. Great faithful boyfriends but cheating insensitive husbands. Great boyfriend / friend / husband but careless fathers.
PROCESS. They say no one has it all, but I disagree. No one is born with it all, yes, but you can have it all before you die. As a man, you may not know if your best foot may be the man – the friend – the boyfriend- the husband – or the father. Even though everyman’s ultimate dream is to be the greatest father, but even that too is a PROCESS.

Jide, a friend of mine was in a relationship with his girlfriend for 2years plus. We didn’t see much of him. He was always with his her. 2 months after they got married, na Jide de always be last to leave beer parlour. He resented going back home. Jide said to me ” I wish we didn’t get married, things were better then. She was a perfect girlfriend but the worst wife.”
He ignored the PROCESS.

No one is born a shitty boyfriend/girlfriend, it’s an accumulation of bad friends, bad environment and Kim Kardashian. If you meet someone who is a great guy that’s a perfect start. Try and make a great boyfriend out of him and let everything else happen when it’s supposed to. 

Everyone is looking for a good husband/wife, do you not plan to have kids?  I have heard great tales of people meeting and falling in love in 4 working days, it happens. My summary to that is someone else was going through that process with him/her and abandoned ship at the end point. You’re enjoying someone else’s PROCESS.

Folks, life itself is a process. You can’t watch Chelsea vs Barcelona before going to work today because you maybe busy in the evening. You can’t receive salary at the beginning of the month. You can’t be an Arsenal fan and be in an unfaithful relationship at the same time. (#WengerOut)
Even if you got 9 women pregnant on the same night, they won’t give you a child in one month.

By Victor Udom

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